Good Times... Noodle Salad....

I know I said I couldn't relate to Charlie, but I think I can on some level.

Charlie obviously feels like he's on the outside looking in. (hence the title).

Kristen said in her journal, "Movies, songs, and books play a huge role on Charlie and how e identifies himself." I know it's painfully obvious, but I just wanted to quote someone in my journal because now I have become cool.

But really, I don't use movies and books to describe myself as much as I do music. Music is my life (I am a musician). So I really can put myself in a certain songs... it's like my whole life is music video (One's like Guns N' Roses... they tell stories).

Sometimes, I feel this is how I am with life. I have never fit in life. The friends that I do have, they are in the same position as me. But this has been a good thing for me. I am glad that I haven't been sucked in to the world too much. I do not know how good of a Christian I am, but it at least helps me to stay a little objective and at least seek Christ and read my Bible and go to church and go to bible study and wow this is a long run on sentence that I am writing. Being an outsider has also helped me to do things I wouldn't have done if I was an insider, like play music and actually get good at it (I think I'm good! I dont know!)

Even as outgoing as I am... I'm still left on the outside a lot. It gives me lots of time to think and get the stuff in my head straight. I'm sure that Charlie had a lot of time to do that considering that he said some pretty thoughtful quotes: "I walk around the school hallways and look at the people. I look at the teachers and wonder why they're here. If they like their jobs. Or us. And I wonder how smart they were when they were fifteen. Not in a mean way. In a curious way. It's like looking at all the students and wondering who's had their heart broken that day, and how they are able to cope with having three quizzes and a book report due on top of that. Or wondering who did the heart breaking. And wondering why."

I don't look at the things like that as much as I think about the metaphysical however. I'd much rather spend my time debating universal abstract entities and other thieistic proofs.

I suppose those are the perks of being a wallflower. Just being able to sit back with a coke and a smile and enjoy the magic of the moment... Feeling like "infinite" or something. Just watching life go by but you're still getting more out of it than most people. How many people just pass on through as if there is nothing to it? I don't know about you, but I think that it's important to get something out of life... Even if it's just figuring things out and getting things straight in your head.