Good Times... Noodle Salad....

I figured I'd include some lyrics that really make me think about this book.... with some follow up afterwards.

The first is a song called "Bad Obsession"

"I used to be wasted
Always tried to take it
Take it down into my vein
I call the doctor
He's just another
He said I'm sick in the brain
He said you ain't special
So who you foolin'
Don't try ta give me a line
But I can't stop thinkin' 'bout
Doin' it one more time
(Oh no)
But I already left you
And you're better off left behind
(Oh yeah)


Aw it's a bad obsession
It's always messin'
It's always messin' my mind
It's a bad obsession
It's always messin'
It's always messin' my mind"



Another song is called "Mr. Brownstone"


"I get up around seven
Get outta bed around nine
And I don't worry about nothin' no
Cause worryin's a waste of my...time

The show usually starts around seven
We go on stage around nine
Get on the bus about eleven
Sippin' a drink and feelin' fine

We been dancin' with
Mr. Brownstone
He's been knockin'
He won't leave me alone

I used ta do a little
But a little wouldn't do
So the little got more and more
I just keep tryin'
Ta get a little better
Said a little better than before
I used ta do a little
But a little wouldn't do
So the little got more and more
I just keep tryin'
Ta get a little better
Said a little better than before

We been dancin' with
Mr. Brownstone
He's been knockin'
He won't leave me alone

Now I get up around whenever
I used ta get up on time
But that old man
he's a real muthafucker
Gonna kick him on down the line"


While reading Go Ask Alice these songs by Guns N' Roses really came to me... not because of the drugs particularly... but just because the Author really just says over and over again, "I swear I'm done this time."

Yet she always goes back and does it. Axl Rose shows the same attitude in the lyrics to these songs. I guess I never really saw how drugs were to the user until I read this book. I mean, it ends up killing her... within weeks of trying the drugs... she's already using the "street terms" and then she's pushing them. I mean... I never realized that they were that bad.

In a way I understand how her "boyfriends" feel. I have never used drugs... but I have seen people destroy their lives with them. I have watched them fade away without knowing what is happening to them. and then one day I find out that they were a drug user.

I really can't identify with the author in other areas. She seems so weak and unloved. Her parents do seem to love her.. but it's like... they don't know what she's doing? They really seem there for her when she's at rock-bottom. But I know how my parents would be.

It just seems to me this amazing cycle of going back and forth between using and not using is really something I can relate to with things in my life (other than drugs). The whole "I swear I'm done" thing. Yet, in the end it kills her.

It's amazing how this book starts off the way you'd expect things to start off. You get a kid who wants to fit in, and they are willing to do anything to get there. However, it's a bit different than most scenarios. Usually, kids are pressured into doing things. It was interesting that she was actually tricked into taking the drugs for the first time. But of course, she went through the guilt stage. However, that was quick. She was just happy that she finally fit in and it was a fun time. She tried dieting, and looking better.. etc. But now she simply just fits in nicely with the popular kids of her own town.

In a way I can kind of relate. Though I've never done any drugs, I never fit in anywhere. I was always a reject... well, in a sense I still am... I don't have too many friends really. I used to try and fit in with people by going to parties or what-not. But I was never really good at that stuff. Luckily, I made things right with Jesus two years ago and my life has been going good ever since and I didn't fall into the same trap that the author of "Go Ask Alice" fell into.

But it's like... you know man... Books like this really make you take a look at your life. You think about all the people around you that could be doing this stuff, and you could reach out to help them but you don't. Maybe because you don't really see them in that light, or maybe you are just caught up in the selfish aspects of life.

Perhaps I can relate in other aspects. The author spends her time thinking about what people think of her. Of course, this is a reflection of what she thinks of her. But it's not really the same. Lord knows I spent too much of my time wallowing in my own self-pity to notice anyone but myself anyways back in the day. However, that does not neccessarily mean that I still do not seek the acceptance of my peers. But the way I see it, oh well.

The author does affirm some type of moral absolutes as she questions the validity of her actions. But her choices seem more playful to her... there are not real moral consequences. Myself, I am a worry wart.. and I have a guiltier concience than anyone you have met. So that usually keeps me out of most trouble.